He started to leave us at this time last year. A slow parting, the end of many years of his decline. Autumn came to echo this. Slowly, deliberately, and without any exit strategy. A one way ticket. And while he waited for the end, I photographed every fading leaf and naked branch.
Now September is dipping into a paintbox of change, yet again.
Another darkening early autumn. Greens breaking into gold. Seed heads soft and ripening. Skies streaked with the darker dusky crimsons. A slightly angled sun is pouring shadows into the hedgerows and beech trees. Little spotlights highlight a leaf here or a fading flower there.
As I enjoy a most precious season turning the world around, I suddenly miss him and how much he loved it too. The low shadowy streaks of light that filled him with happiness. That extra new day, which he found when he woke each morning and considered a special bonus, a gift.....
All we have is this day and the beauty we can find there.......thanks for that much treasured wisdom Dad.......
More Autumn photos in the gallery here
This is absolutely gorgeous and so heartfelt. Your writing is amazing, it's like reading some of my favourite childhood stories. You capture the beauty of nature and the world around us with your own memories, it's lovely. xxx
ReplyDeleteAh thank you so much, it's something I have been giving more time to recently, you've made my day now:~)
Deletea little anguish, a little hope. Turning seasons, turning thoughts.
DeleteIt's a lovely, moving, memorable post.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lucy, it is a special time for me not even one year yet. X
DeleteBeautiful post, very moving. February is a time of memories for me. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks, it's something everyone of us shares, memories connected with the seasons....
DeleteHe left you a wonderful philosophy. Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteAh he did Felicity, amazing how happy he was with such a poor quality of life:~)
DeleteLovely & warm lights of autumn...
ReplyDeletexoxo, Juliana
[pjhappies.blogspot.com]
Thanks!
DeleteBeautiful and tender post... love your writing style and you capture beauty so well. Cx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind comment. It is certainly a beautiful time of the year just now:~))
DeleteA beautiful and poignant tribute to your Dad which reminds me of Kavanagh's poem to his father
ReplyDeletewho had 'fallen in love with death/One time when sheaves were gathered'.
Wow! To be mentioned in the same sentence as Kavanagh!! What a wonderful poet, thanks I must look up that poem:~)
DeleteVery poignant and beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteJune
Thank you June, what a lovely comment, much appreciated:~)
DeleteWhat a beautiful tribute. These photographs are filled with love as well as light. So lovely.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joanna, very much appreciated, the light always helps doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteLovely. Those times are so hard and so raw but like you say so precious. In grief sometimes we are more alive than ever.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true, and I am somehow glad to be reminded of him and the grief and the whole damn thing. Never thought I would think that, but somehow it is with me at the moment, so there it is. Thanks for that Westy X
ReplyDeleteStunning how you capture these fragile colours with your eyes and these precious memories with your words.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Martin:~))
DeleteI've been where you are. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear.... how lucky he was to have such loving daughter... how fortunate you are to have such Dad...
ReplyDeleteOh Ca this is beautiful :) is this why (as another of his daughters) I am ever so slightly obsessed and in love with autumn ...? It was his last autumn and he really did appreciate every morning and every ray of light that rested on his morning smile .... i can see him now .... sitting in that chair ... imagining what he could not see but what he could very much feel ....xx
ReplyDeleteXX
DeleteWhat a special gift you all had. I often feel like I am experiencing grief in the garden in fall. One of my first, earliest posts was about this...my dad died in 1998 a few months after I was married and he was too sick to attend. His long decline into darkness has continued to keep a hole in my heart as I miss him...but your beautiful post made me smile a bit as it is important to remember those beautiful days how ever many there are.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story.. wonderful shots...
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the reasons I am so happy to live in a climate with four distinct seasons, to be ever reminded and aware of the passage of time, lest I begin to take time for granted. You have the heart of a poet, this posting was beautifully worded.
ReplyDeleteSuch stunning photos Catherine, and moving words to go with them. It must be hard to try and process the seasons without him, I can't imagine your difficulty. But it's beautiful that you remember him through the magic of nature, what a wonderful way to think of him. I hope in time that your pain will ease x
ReplyDeleteBeautifully worded and it brought back all the memories of my Dad's last illness last autumn, but it helps me to read these words xx
ReplyDeleteI remember that we shared that dark time, hope this Autumn is bringing a bit more light:~))
DeleteBeautiful words and photos, as always.
ReplyDeleteOh my - I've stumbled upon your blog by pure chance and I'm so glad I have.....I love it all.
ReplyDeleteHappy, beautiful Autumn.
Nina x
A nicely lyrical post Catherine, and your autumnal images echo those happy but poignant memories.
ReplyDeleteThank you George, much appreciated:~))
DeleteBittersweet! What a beautiful testament to love and loss..and a reminder - that like the seasons - all things do change. Gorgeous imagery!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Marcie, bittersweet is the perfect word actually:~))
DeleteThis post is dripping with beauty and with poignancy. You never disappoint Catherine, but this is sublime, thank you :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Annie, close to my heart:~)
Delete"Now September is dipping into a paintbox of change, yet again."
ReplyDeleteYour words are beautiful, creating a magnificent picture to compliment your splendid images. Thanks so much for your lovely, emotional post.
Beautiful thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteI've always said that gardening's greatest lesson is that nothing lasts for ever. Perhaps I could swap the word 'gardening' for 'nature'. My thoughts are with you as you remember things past.
ReplyDeletePiękne jesienne zdjęcia i Twoje przemyślenia na jej temat. Pozdrawiam.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful autumn photos and your thoughts on it. Yours.
Your photo-work has such a joyfulness and brightness to them that lifts me up, thank you. Your words express it very well. Sad to hear of your loss! But, adventures in Nature will sustain you, as you know...
ReplyDeleteI bet your Dad is smiling proudly at the pictures you are taking now and very glad he got that camera for you on your 10th Birthday.
ReplyDeleteFergal
Fergal X
ReplyDelete