28.1.12

The courage to be happy































Grief is all pervasive but it can lack drama. It is more likely to manifest these days as a cotton wool brain rather than the well of tears. Work proves to be a challenge and my thinking is fuzzy and lists remain uncompleted.

Leaving the burrow is like being cast out into a cold winter world and sometimes my tired old bones want to cosy up there for just a few more hours, or even days......

For the past 9 out of 10 days I have been on the road and while the distraction and connections were welcome, at times the grief sat like a heavy weight on my shoulders. As the days went on I decided to pack the camera with the brief case every morning and hoped for better.

The last few days I got lucky and was able to steal moments and photograph places I have been observing and admiring for years. I have been enjoying the unique bronchial shape of each tree, the changing light on the newly ploughed fields, the ice patches on higher ground and as I jumped in and out of the car, my energy started to shift too.

Somewhere on the road between Tullow and Carlow I came across this drift of snowdrops, "harbinger of Spring" on a ditch opposite a small cottage. These bravest, smallest flowers reminded me of a quote I carry in my head, the one that reminds me to have "the courage to be happy."







24 comments:

  1. I'm inadequate here. I have missed the cause of your grief. From whatever source is has sprung, I'm glad you found brief happiness in the snowdrops. I never tire of them. They come round every year, but still - I never tire of them. I almost like them better in pictures than in real life because the detail springs out of the page and can be lingered over without decay - and these pictures are lovely.

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  2. Grief is hard. I have a hard time with loss as well, and I wish you peace as you trudge through its depths. I lost my brother a couple of years ago, tragically, and it took me a long while to get back to any semblance of 'normal.' For some reason, we do not realize how much we love someone until they have left our immediate reality. And when they are gone, the love we had for them aches and bleeds and tortures. I hope, for you, this does not last too long.

    On a happier note...I enjoy your blog so much so that I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award in my last post. I hope this brings a some joy...

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  3. Cytat świetny i prawdziwy :-). Przebiśniegi cudowne i powinny poprawić stan Twojej duszy. Pozdrawiam. *** Quote from a great and true :-). Snowdrops wonderful and should improve the condition of your soul. Yours.

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  4. Lovely photos, as always :-)
    Grief can take many directions and what is right for one person might be completely wrong or inadequate for someone else. I believe that people who have a way of channelling grief, whatever way that may be - through talking, blogging, painting, taking photos, any type of creativity - those people will in the end come through the grieving process feeling better than without such channelling tools. Keep on taking photos and blogging, you are doing it so well!

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  5. Your words and pictures touched me very deeply, as always xxx

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  6. Nature has always helped me deal with grief...these are gorgeous...just found a few in my yard braving the cold yet thawed garden...not sure what to make of them since this is really unheard of...I take them as better days ahead...I like you have the courage to be happy!!

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  7. Truly beautiful and sad, simultaneously. After reading your post, the blossoms reminded me of teardrops. Wishing you peace.

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  8. I think the garden is the best healing place in the world. I hope your garden helps you in your healing. The snowdrops are gorgeous.

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  9. The snowdrops are out in abundance here too - a few weeks earlier than usual. So delicate looking but so hardy! Just found your blog - excellent photos!
    June

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  10. I know this pain...the wanting to withdraw from the world...the unfairness of it all. But...unoriginal as it is...things do get better. You never stop missing that unreplaceable person...but...it gets easier...more bearable as time goes on.

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  11. I see you got some very comforting comments. I especially want to echo Lucy's. I have looked at past posts to try to see if you mentioned the source of your grief, but didn't find it. Have you had to move as well? I hope you indeed have the courage to have times of happiness as you go through the process of grieving.

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  12. Truly beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing them; they brightened up a morning already aching with insomnia and migraine!

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  13. I wish I could say something to make it better but times like this the right words don't come. Grief is a strange thing and hits at the most unexpected moments. I was walking through the town Thursday lunchtime and suddenly burst into tears, something had triggered a memory, I don't what but it was there totally unexpected. The thing with snowdrops and Spring flowers is a reminder that life does go on and loved ones that have left us will always be with us even though we cant see them anymore. Sending you love and strength xxx - Ronnie@hurtledto60

    ps I was planning to do a snowdrop post today but everyone seems to have beaten me to it. I will have to think up an angle.

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  14. Foxglove, I too wish to echo Lucy's comments. Your posts and photos convey such richness and thought that it's clear you get an enormous amount from nature, and I'm sure it will help you through your grief. Hapless thoughts with you too. Tom

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  15. I am so sorry for the loss you are experiencing. Getting out in nature with a journal seems to help me cope or just freewriting to purge a place out for a little happiness to come and reside.

    We, your audience, will be thinking of you.

    Thank you for the happiness of the snowdrop photos. Stunning.

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  16. I have not heard the phrase 'courage to be happy', but I think it is profound. We can not always control our experiences, but we can choose our ultimate reaction to them. I don't know the source of your grief, but my heartfelt thoughts are with you. My hope is that each day will bring an opportunity, as with the beautiful snowdrops, to smile and to hope.

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  17. Your beautiful photos of the happy snowdrops sure make me happy too!

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  18. When I spend time outside I find what I need at the moment--quiet or sweet bird song or the movement of light on water or snowdrops.

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  19. Somethings that will never grow in my garden
    that grows here in the roadside...
    (sigh!!!)

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  20. oh thanks so much for the snowdrops - like little knitted socks on dancing feet, like ribbons gathering little plaits, pure and true - a light filled present gifted....

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  21. My best friend died in April. Every year I'll go through a spell and cry over nothing. Then I remember WHY. Although I never forget...somehow I don't remember where the pain is coming from. Anyhow, you are one of my favorite blogs. Lovely flowers here.

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  22. Sometimes when grieving we dare not be happy for guilt too. Snowdrops are the icons of purity and hope and your have captured them in clouds

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  23. I think snowdrops bring happiness just when we need it most.
    And yes I understand how it does take courage to be happy.
    Look after and be kind to yourself.

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